Saturday, July 22, 2006
Obligatory "My friend's breakup" post
He doesn't deserve this. I'm not saying this because he's my friend, but because it's true. You invest so much into a relationship, and you deserve better. I'm not saying relationships shouldn't end, but not like that. There was no warning, no deterioration of the relationship. Just a simple "this is not working".
I think I'm all talked out about this, though. I don't have any weird dreams like I had after he broke up with his previous girlfriend. This thing never happens when you have something going right, and at the moment he's after taking a break from his job and being constantly angry at his family (although that's pretty much a constant).
It's a vicious cycle. When you're down, your girlfriend breaks up with you. When she breaks up with you, you're feeling even worse and need a girlfriend to help you. When you're down you can't gather enough strength to go out and suffer through the bullshit of girls. Girls in Israel have the very stupid mentality of "get married and start a family as soon as you possibly can", so you can't just casually date women over 22 or so. On the other hand, you can't date little girls either, because they're too immature. His ex wasn't even 21, and they've been dating for over a year now. He was her first serious relationship, so she doesn't really know how difficult it is to find someone who's as good to her as he was. She'll find out eventually, but it'll be too late, for the both of them.
The best thing to do after a horrible breakup is to remove traces of your ex from your life. The trouble is that his ex has been a significant influence on his life for the past year or so. She affected the kinds of music he listens to, there's a poster in her room that she got him, he even started learning 3D graphics to make her a birthday present. I need to be there for him, but it seems like now the university is going to resume work, which means that I'll have to go back there and finish the papers. Great timing, isn't it? When it rains, it pours.
I know it's wrong for me to wish bad on someone, but she needs to break first. She needs to be the one to write a sad entry on her blog first. She needs to be the one sending an SMS message saying something. It's not being mean, it's logical. When you finish a relationship, you need to be aware of the consequences, and you need to be the one agonizing over it.
I think I'm all talked out about this, though. I don't have any weird dreams like I had after he broke up with his previous girlfriend. This thing never happens when you have something going right, and at the moment he's after taking a break from his job and being constantly angry at his family (although that's pretty much a constant).
It's a vicious cycle. When you're down, your girlfriend breaks up with you. When she breaks up with you, you're feeling even worse and need a girlfriend to help you. When you're down you can't gather enough strength to go out and suffer through the bullshit of girls. Girls in Israel have the very stupid mentality of "get married and start a family as soon as you possibly can", so you can't just casually date women over 22 or so. On the other hand, you can't date little girls either, because they're too immature. His ex wasn't even 21, and they've been dating for over a year now. He was her first serious relationship, so she doesn't really know how difficult it is to find someone who's as good to her as he was. She'll find out eventually, but it'll be too late, for the both of them.
The best thing to do after a horrible breakup is to remove traces of your ex from your life. The trouble is that his ex has been a significant influence on his life for the past year or so. She affected the kinds of music he listens to, there's a poster in her room that she got him, he even started learning 3D graphics to make her a birthday present. I need to be there for him, but it seems like now the university is going to resume work, which means that I'll have to go back there and finish the papers. Great timing, isn't it? When it rains, it pours.
I know it's wrong for me to wish bad on someone, but she needs to break first. She needs to be the one to write a sad entry on her blog first. She needs to be the one sending an SMS message saying something. It's not being mean, it's logical. When you finish a relationship, you need to be aware of the consequences, and you need to be the one agonizing over it.
